nonsense

Shitposts and other such silliness.

Caoimhe

Caoimhe ⬥

via Cathode Church

Bless the V-22 Osprey, a design that is looks si­mul­ta­neously so ridi­culous and so cool that it seems like it must have been designed by a twelve-year-old and has the safety record to match, continuing to get U.S. marines killed for two decades.

A screenshot of the Wikipedia article for “Accidents and incidents involving the V-22 Osprey” show accidents from 1991 to 2023.
Caoimhe

Someone needs to do something about Amaury Guichon

Caoimhe ⬥

You’ve seen them. The videos. The chocolate videos. There is a man out there doing things that were never meant to be done to cocoa beans.

What the fuck. That is not tea. That’s not even a kettle. What the fuck.

Look at this shit. This CANNOT be allowed to continue.

He doesn’t even set up his shitting fake chocolate chessboard correctly. THE BOTTOM RIGHT SQUARE SHOULD BE WHITE.

HE HAS TO BE STOPPED. This can’t be allowed to continue.

SPRINGS? CHOCOLATE SPRINGS? We cannot allow this.

We all know what needs to be done.

Okay the above is a joke I do not wish anything bad on Amaury Guichon. I just kind of dislike his videos. There is something offputting to me about his overly clean, edited style. How his artisanry feels like artifice in his immaculate, minimalist kitchen-set that always looks like it’s never been used before. How he creates these things and starts eating them on camera immediately, demonstrating that they were never meant to be consumed as food, only consumed as content1. It feels like watching a How It’s Made video for production a line that that was made only to be on the show, whose output is going directly into a landfill rather than something that is of use to someone.

Is this unfair? Yes. It would probably be more reasonable to treat these videos as a timelapse video of a sculpture being created or, being less fair, a preppy Epic Meal Time. It’s spectacle and art2 and it’s just a particular popular artist I don’t care for. I am just being hater. It’s fine. Chocolate man is fine. I don’t like his videos.

I am normal.

  1. Please imagine me hissing the word “content” with as much venom as is possible. ↩

  2. And of course advertising for his baking classes. ↩

Caoimhe

Caoimhe ⬥

via Cathode Church

In Sonic Unleashed the name Jungle Joyride doesn’t really work for the werehog version of the level, where the gameplay is much slower and combat-focused. Instead they should have called the nighttime version of the level Jungle G.B.H.

Caoimhe

Caoimhe ⬥

fucked that quantum dot organic light-emitting diode televisions look the same as every other TV instead of being dimension­fucked techo­örganic nightmares

Caoimhe

Shitposting

Caoimhe ⬥

I am not posting as much on here as I was on Cohost. One reason is that I have just been really busy and tired recently.

Another is simply I spent a lot of time on Cohost. I have praised it a lot and how it felt more deliberate and less of a trap than other social media sites, but it was still a place I could open to kill time and scroll be driven by the small joys of getting notifications. I felt I got more out of it than other places where I did that, and it fostered that addiction at bit less, but it still did it.

But also there’s a psychological barrier. I still have this feeling that this site is something serious and I have to write in clear semi-formal prose and have something to say. Just posting “I won’t tell anyone if I win the lottery but there will be sins” feels wrong. Which is silly. This is my website. I can write anything I want on here. And I enjoy shitposting. I should be doing it. Maybe If I can get into the flow of treating this place more casually I can feel a bit more open again. Perhaps if I can get over the embarrassment of it I might even post some kink stuff.

But there is another reason too: Posting on here is much more deliberate. I use Jekyll as a static-site generator so making a post involves creating a new text file on my PC and running a small command line script to build and push the changes to my server. It’s not a huge effort, but it’s certainly more than using a website. I like building this site.

Sylvia (quoting someone else) said that “a personal website is like a model train set, in that it’s never really done and you work on it constantly in the hopes that someone will see it” and I think that’s a great comparison! I have a todo list for ideas for this site as long as my arm and as a programmer by trade I both enjoy and know how to make extra work for myself doing it. It was originally just a site built with the default Jekyll minima theme but I have bolted on a lot of extra features and generators. There’s a pipeline to build Pico-8 games from source and an entire podcast processing system and these all run every time I regenerate the site. The overhead with these wasn’t too bad at first but over time it has just taken longer and longer to build and push the site for small changes.

But this is just another problem to solve! I enjoy doing this. I already do have a janky system in place for testing the site while skipping some of the more intensive steps for testing, but I can’t use it to push changes to the site because it would fuck up certain pages which would get replaced with versions that are missing things.

I have some idea already of how I want to go about this and it involves dividing up the site a bit more cleanly into discrete parts. This is going to result in moving some stuff around and in particular I think I will be moving everything in the gallery to a new URL scheme so any current links to my exhibits are going to break. Sustaining a few 404s is fine and if I do find anyone linking to specific pages I might set up some manual redirects but I don’t want to have to set up a million redirect rules. I have too many already and I think I’m going to be removing most of them other than for the Atom feeds to reduce clutter as well.

And then, maybe shitposting?