Old ★★★☆☆

This review contains spoilers.

The dog has died!

He was only just alive!

This film has one single idea, a beach that makes you old, and it somehow keeps going with it for nearly two hours. This could have been a neat episode in some kind of anthology, but ends up being an overstretched, surreal mess with dialogue that seems like it was written by an alien and actors who do not know how to deliver any of it. A lot of lines had me in stitches, the evil company doing a stolen lives acknowledgement was a particular highlight.