Journey of the Monkey King
Is úrscéal ana-ċlúiteaċ é Turas ċun an t-Iarṫar. Tá Monkie Kid, Dragon Ball agus Monkey le BBC agus go leor eile bunaiṫe air, aċ ní raiḃ sé ar eolas ag is mó daoine san t-Iarṫar agus is ana-ċraic é. Bíonn Caoiṁe Ní Ċaoiṁ agus M.J. de Stóc ag caint faoin leaḃar seo.
Eagráin
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Introductions
Caoimhe and M.J. talk about the novel Journey to the West and why they wanted to make a podcast about the incredibly famous novel that no one has heard of.
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#1—Laser Monkey & Chinese Unicorn Giraffe
Caoimhe & M.J. discuss the first chapter of Journey to the West and get side tracked by laser eyes and what exactly the word “unicorn” is a translation of.
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#2—The Secrets of Immortality & Self-replicating Monkeys
Journey to the West chapter two, featuring immortality, unwholesome meats and the Epic of Gilgamesh being gay.
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#3—Afterlife Paperwork & Sun Wu Karen
Sun Wukong demands to see the manager. Of Hell.
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#4—Earlobe Elongation & Embroidered Balls
In which Sun Wukong demands a promotion from God.
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#5—How to Deal with a Narcissist in Your Organisation
Caoimhe & M.J. discuss the finer points of how to work with narcissists as the Monkey King continues to cause trouble in Heaven.
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#6—Avian Slut Shaming & Deification of Hydraulic Engineers
A battle of the gods, a shapeshifting duel and avian slut shaming.
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#7—Numious Brassières
This episodes highlights the long and ongoing tradition of Caoimhe not being able to pronounce anything correctly.
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#8—Diss Tracks
Sun Wukong is not happy about some poetry about him.
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#9—Skin Quilt & the Return of Embroidered Balls
Today we meet a monk named Xuanzang and find out the circumstances of his birth and early life. It’s not a particularly happy story.
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Real Person Fan Fiction
We take a break from chapters to give you a clip of Caoimhe on M.J.’s show, They Did What Now, where we talk about the real life monk Xuanzang, who this novel is fan fiction of. Yes really.
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When History is Inconvenient for Your Plot
M.J. and Caoimhe talk about some differences between the real and fiction monk Xuanzang and his relationship to the Tang dynasty.
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#10—Ghosts in Your Blood
This week we return to the plot, but not to the Monkey King or Xuanzang. We head to Chang’an to meet a fisherman, a woodman and an emperor.
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#11—I Can’t Get a Ghost Mortgage I’ve Got Terrible Ghost Credit
This week: ghost capitalism. Death is not even a way to escape it.
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#12—The Journey Actually Starts
We finally hit the road!
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Special Automatic Transcription Concussion Edition
Caoimhe is recovering from a concussion so instead of doing a normal episode she decided to read an automatically generated transcription of the previous episode.
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#13—Sometimes You Eat a Tiger, Sometimes a Tiger Eats You
Let’s get this show on the road. Tripitaka heads out on his pilgrimage.
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#14—He’s Back
The Monkey King is back and I’m sure he’ll have no issues taking orders from a lifelong vegetarian pacifist monk.
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#15—There Was a Young Dragon Who Swallowed a Horse…
…he’s doing community service, of course.
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#16—Never Listen to Someone Who Calls Himself “Big Plan”
Sun Wukong and Tripitaka decide to spend the night at the Guanyin Chan Hall Temple, where nothing could possibli go wrong.
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#17—Goff bear’s birthday bash
Pilgrim Sun decides to confront the Black Wind King over his master’s stolen cassock and ends up ruining a birthday party.
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#18—Dear Monkey, My Husband Is Literally a Pig…
In which the Monkey King tries to break up a marriage (with good reason).
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#19—Monkey Destroys a Marriage
Sun Wukong confronts the pig Zhu Ganglie and finds out something unexpected about him.
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#20—Buy One Get One Free
With Zhu Bajie now a member of the pilgrimage the group reaches the Yellow Wind Mountain and encounters a tiger.
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#21—The Eye Doctor King of the Eye Doctor Cave on the Eye Doctor Mountain
The Yellow Wind King still has Tripitaka captive. Will Sun Wukong and Zhu Bajie be able to save him? Of course they will. Obviously. But we’ll have fun hearing how it goes.
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#22—Sandy the Sand Monk of the Sand River
We are reunited with Sha Wujing, who unsurprisingly our protagonists end up fighting for two days instead of just talking to.
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JotMK Recap - I Have No Memory of This Novel
Caoimhe and MJ reacquaint themselves with Sha Wujing, Zhu Bajie, Sun Wukong, Tripitaka, Guanyin and the horse.
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#23—Monkey See, Monk “I Do”
Sha Wujing learns a lot about the people he is travelling with and Sun Wukong reveals that he has no interest in sex. Some stuff happens with Zhu Bajie too.
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#24—Evil Baby Slut Fruits
The pilgrims come to the Abbey of the Five Villages, where the Daoist immortal the Lord Equal to Earth has the magical Ginseng Fruit Tree. I’m sure that’s fine. Nothing untoward will happen. No one will steal any fruit.
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#25—Don’t Touch M.J.’s Frying Pan
Wukong, Bajie and Wujing’s attempts to deny that they stole the ginseng fruit are going to go very well. I’m sure the Lord Equal to Earth won’t mind that they destroyed the one of a kind mystical tree that’s older than the Earth itself.
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#26—The White Cloud Dave & The Tank Monk
The Lord Equal to Earth and the Great Sage Equal to Heaven make a deal, a surprising familiar face returns, and a far less surprisingly familiar face also returns.
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#27—Monkey Murders the Same Person Three Times and Is Asked to Leave
On the White Tiger Mountain Sun Wukong, faced with the demon Lady White Bone decides to never learn anything ever while Zhu Bajie decides to stir the pot.
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#28—Eatings Sweets While Talking About Flags
Now that the Monkey King has been banished what will he do? Will he reclaim his throne at the Flower Fruit Mountain?
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#29—Hundred Flowers’ Shame of the Precious Imagelephant Kingdom
Tripitaka meets Hundred Flowers’ Shame and find out how well Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing do without any help (it’s not very well).
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#30—Caoimhe Was Wrong
The pilgrims have all been split up. Sun Wukong has returned to the Flower-Fruit Mountain, Tripitaka is a guest of the Precious Imagelephant Kingdom, Sha Wujing has been captured by the Yellow Robe Demon, Zhu Bajie is cowering the bushes, and the horse is chilling in the stables.
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#31—Return of the Hyper Murder Monkey
The obvious happens as Sun Wukong is convinced to return to defend Tripitaka.
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#32—Kǒng Fūzǐ & Isaacus Newtonus
Sun Wukong, recently re-pilgrimised, is warned about the Golden Horn demon and the Silver Horn demon, but is more concerned with messing with Zhu Bajie.
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#33—At the Mountains of Monkey
We learn about some sacred mountains and Wukong boasts about a feat even he can’t accomplish.
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#34—A Watched Monkey Never Dissolves
Sun Wukong attempts to defeat the Gold and Silver Horn demons, but tries to be too clever for his own good.
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#35—Gourd Measuring Contest
Today we finally learn the secret of the Gold and Silver Horn Demons.
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#36—More Reason to Never Trust Monks
The pilgrims arrive at the Precious Grove Monastery Built by Imperial Command where the abbot is not quite rolling out the red carpet. Pilgrim Sun takes this as you would expect.
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#37—Why Didn’t You Just Sue the Guy Who Murdered You?
Tripitaka is visited by a ghost, who was murdered in a somewhat more mundane way than the magical shenanigans we’re used to dealing with.
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#38—My Dad Would Definitely Still Be ****ing If He Were Alive
The prince of the black rooster kingdom, investigating the claims made by Sun Wukong, makes enquiries about his parents’ sex life.
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#39—Your Kingdom Ain’t S***
Who can Wukong turn to try and bring the king of the Black Rooster Kingdom back from the dead? Someone who’s annoyed at him for a lot of wasted charcoal.
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#40—We Are Technically Done with Child Murder
After leaving the Black Rooster Kingdom behind, Sun Wukong starts to get fed up at Tripitaka not heeding his warnings.
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#40—Patreon Bonus Preview: BBC’s Monkey
We have a Patreon now! Subscribers get new episodes as soon as they’re done and as a first bonus episode we have made an audio commentary track for the first episode of BBC’s Monkey. Here’s a preview of it.
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#41—Cuttlefish Commander, Sturgeon Sergeant
Sun Wukong gets his arse kicked for once when Red Boy doesn’t believe that Pilgrim Sun used to be mates with his dad. Can Zhu Bajie fill his shoes? No. Obviously not.
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Discussion with Journey to the West: The Podcast
M.J. and Caoimhe appeared on Journey to the West: The Podcast with Richard Tseng and James Young and had a lovely discussion about the novel. We will resume our normal Sun Wu-content in the next episode.
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#42—[Insert Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Reference Here]
Guanyin finds out that Red Boy was impersonating her and she is not best pleased.
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#43—Fish Nepotism & Character Development
Red Boy dealt with, the pilgrims face difficulty trying to cross the Black River.
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#44—This Podcast Is Now Just About Caoimhe’s Cat
The pilgrims make their way to the Cart Slow Kingdom, where Buddhist monks have been made slaves of Daoists and Wukong has been declared their saviour.
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#45—That’s Right, Big Smile. Everybody’s Happy.
To prove their worth to the king of the Cart Slow Kingdom the pilgrims are asked to make it rain.
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#46—Don’t Challenge an Immortal Monkey to Any Fights that Involve Doing Yourself Grievous Body Harm
Just as the pilgrims are about to be allowed to leave the Cart Slow Kingdom, Sun Wukong suddenly faces the one challenge he is incapable of winning.
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#47—Is Child Sacrifice Technically Child Murder?
The pilgrims find themselves in a town at the mercy of a cruel local god who demands child sacrifice, but Sun Wukong is here to help and so is Zhu Bajie whether he likes it or not.
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#47—Patreon Bonus Preview: The Great Tang Records of the Western Regions
A preview of our Patreon bonus episode where we read some of Xuanzang’s travelogue written after his return to China featuring one of the more gruesome folk tales recorded in the book.
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#48—Chen to the Bottom
After having his child sacrifices taken away by the pilgrims, The Great King of Numinous Power decides to set his sights on a new meal.
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#49—That’s Why His Hair Is So Big: It’s Full of Soldiers
What type of creature is The Great King of Numinous Power? M.J. thinks he might be a crocodile, or maybe a newt. Guanyin will help the pilgrims find out.
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#50—The Midway Point 🎉
We are officially half way through the book! 🥳
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#51—50 Monkeys Getting Sucked Off
Sun Wukong’s rod has been stolen by the Great One-Horned Buffalo’s magical fillet and he’s going to need to enlist the help of some old enemies.
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#52—I Don’t Know What You Were Expecting
Wukong is going to need to go the the very top for help with the One-Horned Buffalo. No, not Guanyin. The very top.
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#53—The MPreg Episode
You read the title correctly.
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#54—This Man has Never Cum
The pilgrims make their way to the capital of the Women State and Tripitaka faces a threat not to his life, but to his chastity. Will he cum? There is only one way to find out.
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#55—This Is Not a Place of Lovemaking
Tripitaka has been kidnapped by a demoness who’s a real maneater. No not like that. Well, yes, actually, like that. But also in the other way.
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#56—A Horse, a Yakṣa and a Léigōng Walk into a Bar
The pilgrims are out of the women’s country, but some resentment might be starting to set in, and the torture headband comes out again.
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#57—Sus
Wukong is banished and comes back angry and jealous. But perhaps there’s something a bit sus about him.
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#58—Highly Targeted Parasocial Relationships
Sun Wukong and Sha Wujing investigate the imposter Pilgrim, but Wujing doesn’t know which one to shoot!
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#59—It’s Not a Plot Hole!
The pilgrims come across a mountain that is four hundred kilometres across and always on fire that proves to be something of an obstacle to progress, so Sun Wukong goes to ask his sister-in-law for help.
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#60—Happy Year of the Rabbit
We are back and continue the story of Lady Iron-Fan and the Bull Demon King.
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#61—Brainstorming Future Bull-related Projects
We can finally put all this bull behind us as Wukong recovers the palm-leaf fan and puts out the Mountain of Flames.
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#62—The Benbo Kingdom of Drinking Games
The pilgrims make their way to the Sacrifice Kingdom, where MJ sacrifices their innocence and learns that the Hogfather is not actually a hog.
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#63—Nine Heads Are Better than None
Sun Wukong and Zhu Bajie decide to mutilate some prisoners to send a message to the All Saints Dragon King and Nine-Heads, who does, in fact, have nine heads.
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#63—Patreon Bonus Preview: Dragon Ball w/ Jen
A clip from out Patreon bonus episode where Caoimhe invites her friend Jen on to talk about Dragon Ball. Subscribe to MonkeyKingPod on Patreon to hear the full thing.
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#64—We Just Skip the Main Plot and Do Cat Facts Instead
The pilgrims try to cross the Bramble Ridge but Tripitaka is kidnapped by some vogon ents.
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#65—Some Monkeys Have Beaks and That’s Okay
Or maybe they don’t. Look, we were both very tired when we recorded this.
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#66—This Is an Organ-heavy Episode.
Also a Discworld-heavy episode. Also a technical difficulties-heavy episode. It’s got it all! Including self-disembowelment. So be aware of that.
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#67—Meow
The pilgrims encounter their worst obstacle yet: A mountain pass completely filled with rotting fruit.
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#68—Medical Malpractice
The pilgrims arrive into the Scarlet-Purple Kingdom where Sun Wukong practices medicine without a license and Zhu Bajie misgenders some eunuchs.
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#69—(Nice!) We Stan a Menopausal King
Wukong continues to perform medical malpractice. Horse piss is involved.
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#70—Going Without Coming
We continue the story of the Scarlet Purple Kingdom, which unfortunately is going to touch on kidnapping, rape and femicide.
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#71—My Brother Knows Wukong, Met Him Eating Peaches to Make Him Strong
We close off our story of the Scarlet-Purple Kingdom and talk about a local mural.
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#72—It Is Definitely a Kink Thing
This chapter the pilgrims find themselves in a sticky situation. Because of the spiderwebs. Because of the spiders. There’s spiders in this one.
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#73—Pepsiman/Sun Wu Karen Fic (w/ special guest Rita)
Two star crossed lovers. Will Pepsiman and Sun Wu Karen be able to make it in a world that wants them kept apart? When the restaurant only has coke will she demand to speak the manager? None of this will be answered in this episode of Journey of the Monkey...
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#74—Monsters of the World, Unite! You Have Nothing to Lose But Your Headbands!
Sun Wukong teaches the monsters of the Lion Camel Ridge lessons in solidarity.
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#75—I Am so Tired
The podcast is taking a break till the new year.
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#76—Brotherly Hatred
The pilgrims face off against three brothers who get along a lot better than they do.
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#77—Meat Head Buddha
Wukong is tricked into thinking that Tripitaka is dead, but he knows who to blame: Tathāgata Buddha.
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#78—Der Roman mit dem Affen
The Pilgrims arrive the the Young Master’s City (né the Bhikṣu Kingdom) where they find a mass of young boys imprisoned and with their lives threatened.
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#79—Back Pain
Caoimhe and M.J. talk about back pain, unions and at the end, fascists. We talk about some kind of book in the middle of it too?